When I was raising my 4 children, although I was laid back, consciously, in many ways, I had some strict rules. And one of them was that they could never, ever call their brother or sister “stupid”.
I believe in the benefits of not putting other people down. In our thoughts, pretty hard! But in our words, easier. It is not easy to practice! But as we learn that discipline, we also learn to not put ourselves down.
Words are very powerful.
Thoughts are also powerful. This came to mind today as I thought about posting something that I realized had a subtle subtext about how I am not a good gardener.
The first time I ever planted anything, it was September in Connecticut, starting to get a little chilly, but I was suddenly determined to grow eggplant. I had decided for some reason that it was very important to me. It was the only thing I wanted to grow. Maybe because it was plump and round like me, and it was my favorite color.
I was 8 months pregnant with my first child. I had just moved to the east coast for the first time – from the west coast. I had never before had a passion to grow anything.
Eggplants usually take a very long time to grow before the weather becomes cold. I didn’t know this. It was September in Connecticut and frost was coming. I knew nothing about growing eggplants. I just knew I had a passion to grow one. So I put an eggplant plant in the ground in my backyard.
I would sit in the dirt and stare admiringly at the plant.
Eventually, there was one beautiful, fully formed, purple eggplant! I was so happy.
The next time I created a garden was 10 years later, also pregnant. This time I had help and it was a good size garden. But the corn had blue foamy creepy stuff on it. It looked as if it was possessed by an alien lifeform. And it was way too hot (I was in Virginia by then) so I gave up and let the weeds thrive.
Tonight I was thinking of posting about how I am including in my dinner parsley, chives, and thyme that I grew on my deck.
But I noticed an underlying attitude of putting myself down. It was a very, very minimal accomplishment to grow these. And the plants did not even thrive. And except for the one really awesome garden I grew in the 90s on an old farm I have a “history” of not being a great gardener.
But I decided to bypass any subtext of negative self-talk.
Instead:
Tonight I am celebrating that I made grilled Brussels sprouts with thyme that I “grew” on my deck. And baked potatoes with lots of chives and parsley that I also “grew” by watering them and nurturing them to the best of my ability, and they are super fresh and vibrantly healthy food!!
A humble accomplishment to be sure, but why not celebrate it?
Radha McChristy 